Withdrawal, 1996
Serge Polakoff
Inspired by the expression of personal feeling, the regressed inner child in a fetus-like position found in Munch's Madonna also appears in my 1996 work titled Withdrawal. At the time of that painting, I was experiencing an array of mixed gray feelings. I was feeling melancholic but not disheartened, sad but not worried, isolated but not lonely. The urge to express these mixed feelings through art had a therapeutic effect in bringing the invisible messages of my unconscious to my awareness.
Little did I know that my urge to ritualize the expression of my feelings would exorcise my melancholy and contribute to my personal growth. The resulting work shows my inner child sitting in a withdrawn fetal position in the bottom corner of a large space. The child appears in dark gray, the space is in light gray, and the space borders are in black. This artwork is my only one without color.
While soul searching is the general direction of my art, I rely mostly on symbols from the archetypal unconscious. Withdrawal, however, is more personal than universal. The inner child pictured in this work relates directly to the withdrawn boy in my psyche.
The little figure is isolated in a large open space sitting on the floor in a corner with his back against the wall. The boy's head is bent forward, regressing into a fetal position. With parental compassion, my reaction was to comfort and console the little boy.
This artwork reveals three psychological phases: regression, withdrawal, and growth.
The posture and position of the overwhelmed inner child indicates both his/my needs to regress in time and withdraw in space.
The boy's fetal position with his head bent indicates a need to retreat to earlier times where life was easier. His/my regressive reaction likely resulted from having too much to handle at the time; too much stress created a need to revert from a rough present to a simpler past.
The boy's placement in the corner of a large space revealed a need to protect himself/myself and withdraw as far as possible. My personal withdrawal at that time was comparable to a vulnerable wounded animal that withdraws to a safe place to protect itself from any further danger.
The unhappy child in the artwork evokes sadness and calls for a reaction of compassion and assistance. Empathy with the dark side of the child is bolstered by the light of hope from the large pictorial space available for his symbolic future growth.
Analyzing my gray feelings through their expression in this artwork helped me in understanding them better, thus gaining more awareness of my inner world at that time and contributing to my personal growth.
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